Indicators of Low Emotional Intelligence - American Society of Employers - Mary E. Corrado

Indicators of Low Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a key trait necessary to be successful.  I recently read an article on theladders.com that listed several signs that indicate when one lacks emotional intelligence.  I like this list, because most others I’ve read list traits that indicate high EQ, not that it’s lacking.

90% of star performers in the workplace possess high EQ.  It is described as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.  People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they're feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.  For leaders, this is key to their success.  The five elements of EQ are considered by most to be:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

Some things to look for in yourself or others that indicate a lack of emotional intelligence and therefore, room for improvement, include:

1.      You don’t get angry.  People with high EQ still get angry.  Being emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean you are nice all the time.  It means you can regulate and express both your positive and negative emotions.  Masking your emotions with constant happiness is neither genuine nor productive.

2.      You get stressed easily. People with low EQ are twice as likely to experience anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and even thoughts of suicide.  They get stressed easily due to suppressing their emotions, which strains the mind and body. 

3.      You have difficulty asserting yourself. People with low EQ tend to have difficulty being assertive in tough situations.  Emotionally intelligent people are able to handle stressful situations with tact and are not afraid to be assertive when necessary.  This allows them to defuse a toxic situation or person without creating enemies.

4.      You have a limited emotional vocabulary.  The better one can describe their feelings, the higher level of EQ they likely have.  For example, someone with a low EQ might just say they feel “bad”.  But someone with a high EQ would be able to identify specifically if they feel irritated, frustrated, sad, or anxious.

5.      You make assumptions quickly and defend them vehemently. People with a low EQ are very quick to form an opinion and will then research to support that opinion, while ignoring any facts that do not.

6.      You hold grudges. People with higher EQs know how to let go of stress.  Holding onto stress can be detrimental to your health.  Emory University research shows that it can actually lead to high blood pressure and heart disease.

7.      You don’t let go of mistakes. People with a high EQ remember mistakes and learn from them, but people with a low EQ tend to dwell on mistakes they’ve made.

8.      You often feel misunderstood. People with low EQ don’t understand how they come across to others. This happens to people with high EQ from time to time as well, but the difference is a high EQ person would realize their message isn’t being understood and would seek to clarify by adjusting their approach.

9.      You blame other people for how they make you feel. People with high EQ realize that it’s nobody’s fault but their own for how they feel.  It’s all in how you choose to react and hold onto those feelings.

10.   You’re easily offended. People with lower EQ often have difficulty separating themselves from a situation or realizing intended humor.  Highly emotionally intelligent people tend to be more open-minded, have greater self-confidence, and are able to identify humor.

It is possible to increase your EQ, but first you need to be able to recognize the areas in which you are lacking.  Do you have anything to add to this list?  Email me at [email protected].

ASE offers a class entitled “Emotional Intelligence” that teaches the basics of EQ and how it influences work environment and work relationships.  Our next class is August 7, 2019 in Livonia.  To learn more or to register, click here.

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